(Hours 137 & 138)

Today was terrible.. The one word sums up my one and a half hour lesson. It was raining from start to finish and I was left hesistant approaching junctions and joining roundabouts. Thanks to Gary Dodd, I think I'm scarred for life from driving. I don't think I can ever stand back up on my feet and fight this losing battle. I am hurt, but what do I do? Continue fighting or admit defeat??? I'm not the kind of quitter but I'm corrupting, physically and mentally.

Apart from Gary Dodd, another thing that is constantly haunting me is BSM... it haunts me at day, and haunts me at night. I see them while I drive, and I see them in my sleep... I'm at the stage where I'm about to go crazy and I can't take this SH!T no more. A passerby reading this will never know my inside story, as with everyone else.. and will automatically ask "then why carry on?" I can only write here to let them know "because it'll only put me in a lot more pain if I don't do anything about it".

The lyrics.....

I ain't got no more tears to cry
And I can't take this no more
You know I gotta let it go

....currently expresses what I'm feeling.